Wednesday 21 December 2011

Don't Look Now, But It's Eleanor Again...

I am blogging for the first time in months on a Toshiba tablet. It's quite nice.

I'm sixteen now. God, it's been a while, hasn't it? Oh, the tablet isn't mine! I'm just borrowing it for a few minutes.

The thing is, there is so much I wish to tell you but I don't know how. Don't have a lot of time either, and people are trying to peek over my shoulder. I suppose this is just something to say... Coming soon? Hmm...

Have a wonderful Christmas, and a tranquil New Year. You might hear from me very soon...

Wait! Come back! I'm telling the truth! I want to be telling the truth!

Typing on this is so hard...

Sunday 9 October 2011

Quote of the Week #66

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.

George Bernard Shaw

I Am Queen of The World

So. Pottermore.

Would you like to know where I've been Sorted?

We'll get to that in a minute.

I've never really known where I would be Sorted. I had no idea what Hogwarts house would be right for me, or would I be right for any house. But now, I know.

And I seem to be the only person I know, online and in real life, who is actually happy with their house, bar two people in real life - Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. One of my friends is talking about deleting her account. I am finding myself unable to be sympathetic, mostly because I'm so happy with my house, and because you JUST DON'T delete your Pottermore account. Has the start of August taught us nothing?!

My user name is PhoenixStorm41, which I think is a really badass username. You can add me, but only if you tell me who you are first, OK? Makes things much more fun.

Hastily Made Polyvore Time -


Yep, I'm a Slytherin! (Excuse me a moment - OH YEAH!!!!! Seriously though Slytherin is the perfect house for me. I know there was some nasty business with that Riddle chap a few years back, but surely we can overlook that? (People are calling me a Death Eater already. It's annoying me.) I mean, charming, ambitious, assertive, self-reliant and destined for greatness? Definitely me!

Besides, we've got Merlin, who was actually a big Muggle-rights campaigner. Your argument is invalid.

Got to go - there's a certain House Cup we need to win...

Oh, why not?


Eleanor Roscuro

Sunday 18 September 2011

Quote of the Week #65

If you condition yourself to be just a little more considerate of the tiny things your brain does in reaction to innocuous everyday experiences, the world becomes a billion times more beautiful and interesting.

Tom Milsom

Saturday 17 September 2011

I've Only Modelled Twice, And Only The First Time Was Real

So a few nights ago, I had a dream.

I dreamt I was a model in some sort of fashion show, only the catwalk was around this big rectangular pool of water, and the audience sat around that, and the models modelled around the audience, and it was outside. I was the very last model to go on, and when I did, I started walking but stumbled in my heels and fell. The shoes I was modelling were the exact same ones that were in my wardrobe - red vintage Mary Janes.

Anyway, I got up, took the shoes off, brushed myself down, and continued walking with the shoes in my hands, trying to display them to the audience. For some reason, as I reached every corner of the triangle, I would stop and do a funny little bow. And for some reason, Rupert Grint was in the audience. I have no idea why. I don't usually dream of people I don't know. Once Cedric Diggory was in a dream, but that was years and years ago, and he was killed by the baddie. But in a chivalric way.

As I finished my walk and returned backstage, everyone started clapping and cheering, because the fashion show had ended. I opened a window and leaned out to get some fresh air, and people saw me. A group of girls came up to the window, and started babbling, but I recognised one of the girls, who I have a Hero Crush on, from A Healthy Kind of Vanity. She opened her mouth to say something to me, and I knew that whatever she was about to say was going to be very, very important...

I woke up. It was one of the most disappointing dreams I've ever had. Well, the dream itself wasn't disappointing, just the fact that I didn't get to hear what the girl was going to say to me.

When I was getting dressed that morning, I considered wearing my red shoes, but decided against it. I was still very nervous around them.

Tuesday 6 September 2011

My Battle For Supremacy With The Wind

As I was walking into school this morning, I noticed that some of the Kilkenny bunting that had been hung up had fallen on the ground. As I was just about to step over it and continue on my merry way, the wind suddenly raised the bunting about seven feet into the air above me. Of course the obvious choice was to wait for the wind to drop the bunting at my feet, and so I waited, staring up at it.

A gaggle (Gaggle? Honestly Eleanor, they're not geese) of 5th Years stepped under the bunting  and called to me 'Are ya coming through or what?!' I smiled at them politely, for that is what you do, and I could hear them laughing and cackling at me as they entered the doors of the school, but I kept my eyes on the bunting until finally, the wind dropped it at my feet and I was able to step over it and enter the school.

I immediately told my friend who, being far more level-headed and sensible than me (God knows someone has to be) was not as impressed or awestruck as I had expected her to be when I recounted my battle of supremacy with the wind, just as I have told you now. Then I thought 'Hey! Eleanor! You know who I could tell this amazing story to?'

'Those awesome people who read Apostrophe, of course!'

And then I went and wrote this. See? This is how Apostrophe is supposed to be - something happening to me, and me telling you about it, instead of me feeling guilty and floundering. Ahhh. This is nice.

Next time, I shall tell you how it feels to walk on water. (Wet. It feels really wet. And cold.)

Eleanor Roscuro

Sunday 4 September 2011

Quote of the Week #63

In the book, of course, she's described as very ugly and toad-like. And people say 'You'd be great for that part.' Thanks very much.

Imelda Staunton on playing the role of Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (which I thought she was brilliant in, so there)

Fred The Friend

Hey guys, do you ever think what might happen if there were special robots, that looked exactly like teenage humans apart from all the computery stuff inside, that were designed to help people form relationships? A survey from a while ago showed an increase in depression in Irish teenagers, and what if these robots could be sent out so these teenagers can learn how to connect with people, to make friends, rebuild confidence and self-esteem? Although while you were making friends with the robot, it would feel sort of fake, because you'd know that the robot is supposed to like you, that's the mission, the name of the game. And what would happen once the person has learned all it can from the robot? Let's call the robot... Fred, for now. As time goes on, Fred and the person they've been assigned to would get to know each other a lot, and then Fred would have to start again with a completely different person. I suppose he would have to be reset. But that wouldn't be very nice for the reformed young person, would it?. Their new best friend has been spirited away in a blink of an eye, someone you had become attached to, confided in, and then some guy in a lab coat pressed a button and it's all gone, ready for someone else. Ready for someone else to exploit? No, I don't think it would be exploitation, because Fred is only doing his job, what he was made for. (He? Hmm...) But still, that still means Fred keeps being reset and passed around to all sorts of people, until he crashes, and they make Fred 2.0.

So I now conclude: Fred is a whore. No, that's mean. It's not his fault.

You should all read Girl Parts by John M. Cusack, that's what got me thinking about Fred - here's the book's trailer:

Apparently they make trailers for books now! Well, LA DI DA! Next thing you know, you'll be able to download entire books from the internet... Oh.

Seriously though, he makes some very good points about the way we interact with each other nowadays. You won't forget Girl Parts in a hurry. Also, Rose is a darling, although one of my favourite characters is the renegade... No, I can't give it away!

Eleanor Roscuro

Thursday 1 September 2011

September 1st... Welcome.

*shuffles onstage*

Today is September 1st, 2011. It's a Thursday.

This summer has been one of the best summers ever, for me anyway. Why? Because I felt completely free, completely free to do whatever the hell I wanted. Whether it was reading on my bed for hours on end, something I haven't been able to do for years, meeting friends that I hadn't seen for years and connecting again, which is lovely, rediscovering my love for Tumblr/Harry Potter/shipping Ron and Hermione/Horrible Histories, and generally just having a good time.

And then everyday, I would think 'I should blog now...' but then I would realise that I've been saying 'I should blog now' all year, and not 'I have something really good to blog about, so I'll write about that then'. Well, not as often as I should. It became 'I should blog now' because I would feel guilty that I couldn't come up with anything, and then just write lists, lots and lots of lists.

And I've really missed you all, I have. I'm just scared of not doing my best, giving you my best, what you deserve for being so wonderful. But I think I'm ready now. Yes, I am.

I think it's time for a song, to celebrate.

Alka Jessie are a local band set up last summer - but I'll talk about them more in my next post. Which I have actually planned. Getting back on track, I am.

Encore! Encore! Ah, go on.

Have I ever told you how much I love Mary Poppins? No... no, I haven't. We don't talk about films much, do we? I suppose that's my fault.

Also, dear Minnie and XxLadyBugxX, I am still alive. Thank you very much for asking! *glares at the rest of you, you inconsiderate...* Ah no, I love you all. It's great to be here.

Bye now.

Eleanor Roscuro

See you this weekend?

Wednesday 6 July 2011

Quote of The Week #62

I have no desire to be a goth, but I do kind of envy the clothes they wear. It must be really fun to wake up in the morning when you're a goth. Like, 'I wonder will my black lace parasol go with my gothic Lolita skirt and Edwardian-style blouse? Yes it will, because luckily they are both also black. Being me is awesome.'

Prim Improper - Deirdre Sullivan 


Hey everyone! I want to tell you something.

Books are great, I mean really great. There's a book I just finished reading, Prim Improper by Deirdre Sullivan. It has a pretty cover:

...and is very good and you should read it.

Things I Am Doing This Week:

~ Watching Horrible Histories, on Tuesday and Sunday. Because it's the best television show for ever and ever.
~ Going to the National Festival of Youth Theatres, run by NAYD. I am extremely excited.
~ Seeing Lovers by Brian Friel, directed by Geoff Rose in the Watergate Theatre.
~ Falling in love with Special Benny.

I'm sorry this isn't longer, but this post will act as a sneak peek of future topics, because I intend to elaborate on all the above items. But I can't now, because in twenty minutes I have to go to the above Festival of Youth Theatres, I'm representing Kilkenny Youth Theatre at it with six others. It's going to be brilliant.



Sunday 26 June 2011

Quote of The Week #61

I've no interest in schools. They have no relevance in the 21st century. They were a Victorian idea to get kids off the street. Who decided that putting 30 kids with only their age in common in a classroom with one teacher was the best way of educating? At my school there were 52 kids in the class and all I learned was how to pass the 11-plus. Testing is the death of education. Kids should leave school at 11 and go to work. Not down the mines or up chimneys, mind, but working with computers or something relevant. Everything I learned after 11 was a waste of time. Trigonometry, Boyle's law: it's never been of any use to me. They should have been teaching me the life skills I was going to need, such as building relationships, parenting and managing money. I didn't have a clue about any of these things at 18. Schools need to change.

Terry Deary

Thursday 23 June 2011

It's The Apostrophe Summer 2011 Giveaway!

Hello everyone!

I've finished my exams, and the summer's here! What does this mean? It means I'm doing a blog giveaway!


This is not a normal blog giveaway. Really, it isn't.

There are two sets of prizes to be won:

The Blossom Parcel is dainty and feminine, and very summery... It's just really really cute.
  • Ring-bound notebook from Monsoon Accessorize (matches pen).
  • Ball-point pen from Monsoon Accessorize (matches notebook)
  • Set of five badges from Monsoon Accessorize
  • Lilac Waldo Pancake bookmark from SWALK - text: 'Bookmark (as in actual bookmark, not one on the internet)'
  • 'Warning: When I Am An Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple' by Jenny Joseph from Dubrays Books
  • Fabric bunting from Bridie's

The Rainbow Parcel features lots of bright, vivid colours - isn't colour blocking a trend this summer? - and is inspired by the rainbow, which hopefully we'll see a lot of this summer!

  • Orange Waldo Pancake notebook from SWALK - text:'Writing things down is the new thinking them'
  • Purple Waldo Pancake ball-point pen from SWALK - text: 'Tap on stuff annoyingly'
  • Rainbow bangle from Oxfam
  • Red Waldo Pancake bookmark from SWALK - text: 'I know how it ends.'
  • Rainbow beaded necklace from Oxfam
  • Hanging charm from Butterslip

Each parcel will also contain a lovely letter from me! (Not pictured - I haven't written them yet.)

'But Eleanor,' I hear you ask, 'How do we get the chance to win such fabulous parcels?'

Well, this is not a traditional blog giveaway. Tweeting or blogging about this does not equal an entry - although if you do want to tweet or blog about it, feel free to do so. Since this giveaway is celebrating the end of exams... You're getting a QUIZ! Aren't I the best?!

Question One: Where is the Sea of Tranquility?
Question Two: What is the only word in the English language ending with the letters 'mt'?
Question Three: Which company is the biggest toy distributor in the world?
Question Four: In the Hans Christian Andersen story, which female character was found inside the petals of a flower?
Question Five: After the King/Queen, which comes first: Earl or Duke?
Question Six: Name the month I (me, Eleanor Roscuro) was born.

If you want to enter:
  • This giveaway is open to all followers of this blog, because I love you all, and it's all because of you guys that I love doing whatever it is I do here at Apostrophe! Also, you'd have to be following to read this post.
  • To be eligible for an entry, you must be following this blog. (Just in case.)
  • You must email your answers to me at, or drop them in a comment on this very blog. If you do leave a comment, please leave your email address or another form of contact like a Twitter username, in case you win.
  • The people who get all the answers right will be entered into the draw. One person cannot win both parcels. The winners will be randomly selected from an extremely cool hat, by an impartial and neutral outsider (i.e. not me).
  • 'But Eleanor, this quiz is hard!' Google it. You can find the answer to Question Six on this very blog. 
  • 'But Eleanor, why are you doing a quiz?' I could have just gotten you to tweet or blog about the giveaway, but I never liked that. I know you're all smart, or have the ability to use the internet, and I respect that. That's why.
  • The giveaway closes on WEDNESDAY 29TH JUNE 2011 at 12 noon GMT. That's next Wednesday. 
  • It is open internationally.
I do hope you all enter, and best of luck to you all!

Eleanor Roscuro

Sunday 19 June 2011

A Day - Friday the Seventeenth of June, Two Thousand and Eleven

I woke up at four o'clock, then went back to sleep again and woke up at half eight-ish. I didn't need to be anywhere until two in the afternoon, so after a lot of tossing and turning I went online. @Evy_Lynch tweeted about the new Deathly Hallows trailer so I went and saw that.

And then, I can't remember how, but I came upon Pottermore. OH MY GOD POTTERMORE ONLY 3 DAYS 20 HOURS 31 MINUTES AND 45 SECONDS

And that's all I'll say on that matter.

Then I went onto J.K. Rowling's website and concentrated on finding the last two easter eggs that I hadn't found yet. I know, I'm so slow, but I don't go on it very often. Then it was half past eleven and I had a shower then put on my school uniform because I had to do my last exam of the Junior Cert, Home Economics. I had breakfast, then I went into school and did the exam. I finished at half four.

When I left, I went back home with my mother and my brother and I changed into normal clothes, had some food and showed my mother the new HP trailer and Pottermore. Then the song I Am A Rock came onto the radio by Simon and Garfunkel and me and my mother danced to it. My brother didn't dance to it because we were embarrassing him.

My mother told me that when she was my age, she sang this at her school concert and danced. She still remembered most of the words. I liked the story.

After a while, my mother and I got in the car and drove up to Abbeyleix in Laois to go to a cemetery mass. Before that we went to my grandfather's house, my mother's father. He and my mother's sister were there, and we ate some sweets and talked about the exams until it was time to go to the cemetery mass.

My mother and her sister and I decided to walk down to the graveyard from the house. We brought umbrellas. Halfway there, I tripped and stained my white trousers, but I didn't mind really because stains means adventures. Usually. I was just surprised.

As we got nearer to the graveyard, we met the cars. Oh, the cars. The traffic jams. We tip-toed in between them to get to the top. Cars were abandoned in the middle of the road. My grandfather was in a black jeep driven by my mother's other sister, who owned it. A minute into the service, it drove in and parked at the back. My grandfather isn't a great stander.

So me, my mother, my mother's sisters, their husbands and my cousins all stood around my grandmother's grave as the priest at the far end of the cemetery gave the service, from microphones and speakers. Ten minutes in, it started to rain. Umbrellas ballooned simultaneously and those who had forgotten theirs got drenched. The rain didn't stop until there was only two minutes left into the service, at which point the priest said 'If it's raining at quarter past seven next year, we can assume the cemetery mass will take place in the church...' It was so long since I'd been out in the rain with an umbrella, and it was fun.

The mass ended and it promptly started to rain, at which my mother and aunts yelled at me to get into the black jeep as it was driving away, so I did. We had to navigate through all the cars again, and the people walking navigated over us. A forty second journey to my grandfather's home took fifteen minutes at least. Eventually we got back.

My cousins had brought with them lemon cheesecake, chocolate biscuit cake, and rhubarb tart. These were devoured over wonderful conversations. I cried from laughter.

At quarter past ten o'clock we left for home. We got back at half eleven. In the last five minutes of our journey a very good short story was read on RTE Radio One. It was called 'Don't Start Listening To This Story' by Patrick G. O'Connor, shortlisted for the Francis MacManus Short Story Competition. It was excellent, but hasn't been put online yet.

When I finished listening to the story, we had returned home, so I dropped my things in my room and went into my parent's room. My mother was there, and we lay on the bed and started talking. Then I went into the kitchen where my dad was and he asked me about the HE exam. Then I went to bed.

I see lots of posts on lots of blogs describing a day, and I don't do that. So I thought I'd try.

Quote of The Week #60

'That is Blogging Bianca,' Gary said, pointing to a girl who had her fingers curved as if she was ready to type at any second. 'Her blog was her life.'
'Whose isn't?' Scarlet smirked, one of her pet peeves being the amount of valuable time people waste blogging and pushing mundane personal observations in their own little cyber sweatshops for mass consumption.
'Unfortunately, that's what it cost her,' Gary explained. 'She got a DVT, you know, a blood clot from not moving around enough.  Too many snarky entries, too little stretching out.'
'Too much information.' Scarlet squirmed, pun totally intended. 'Talk about logging out.'

Tonya Hurley - Ghostgirl: Homecoming

Sunday 12 June 2011


Evening everybody!

So a few hours ago I started going through the entire The Vintage Vixen archive so I could write her a cool email, and let me tell you - the chirp. God, the chirp is infectious. I mean, it isn't there all the time, but when you start reading a post and it starts with something like 'Hey cupcakes!', your life is automatically better. Everyone should follow The Vintage Vixen. If you ever fall ill, and you go to the doctor, he or she will just tell you 'Ah, you need the Chirp...' and on your prescription, in his or her doctor's scrawl, they'll just write The Vintage Vixen... only it'll look like faaThed;agh;aj;alk/vintaagh;agjgeVixkgjklden. Well, the cool doctor will.

So I'm one week into my exams! I finish on Friday, so this will all be over soon! When that happens, I might arrange something special for you all. Maybe. 

I love my hair at the moment. It's not short, it's not long, it just fans around my face. Also, it's very bouncy, especially when I jump high! Like this! *jumps very high on the spot for thirty seconds grinning maniacally*

Is this a post about anything? Who cares! I'm happy! Yes!!!

Honestly, I'm so chirpy at the moment. I shouldn't really be, since first thing tomorrow I have Maths Paper Two, but then I have CSPE. So that's fine so.

You know what I'd really love now? A pizza. Yeah. Pizza...

I have been listening to this song non-stop since last Tuesday...

Oh my God Richard III is the sweetest thing ever he's so smiley don't you just want to take him home and hug him forever?! Also, Jim Howick is brilliant.

Quote of The Week #59

I became a highwayman, was daylight robbery
I was no Prince Charming, nothing dandy about me!

Horrible Histories - Dick Turpin

Originally that was going to be my Quote #59, but then I was watching an old Horrible Histories sketch, and now I must honour this gem from Henry VIII...

Oh, why has God forsaken me with only lady babies?

Wednesday 8 June 2011

Between The Barlines - Little Comets, The Lonely Island, Horrible Histories, Sleigh Bells

Hello, and welcome to Between The Barlines! If all goes well, you are reading this right as I'm starting my first Junior Cert exam, English Paper One. And I'll be wringing my hands and gnashing my teeth (worse case scenario) while you'll be listening to awesome music in the comfort of your own bed/garden/exam hall/palace/rock. You lucky things. Anyway, on with the show!

Little Comets - Joanna

Well, if you like catchy tunes, musical changes, and songs about girls, Joanna ticks all those boxes. Is it vain that I'm a girl with a three syllable name and I keep listening to this? Or am I really easy to shame? Anyway, let's have a listen, shall we?

The Lonely Island - Jack Sparrow

So last week Daydream Believer posted this music video on her blog, calling it the 'Funniest Thing Ever', endquote. Honestly, you don't argue with Ms. Believer. Besides, why would you? Even though I have absolutely no idea who Michael Bolton is (Who is he? A singer?) my fascination with pirates and my adoration of Pirates of the Caribbean (haven't seen the new one yet, is it good?) make this one of the funniest songs ever, even if a little too obscene for my taste. Plus, it's catchy and clever.

Horrible Histories - Dick Turpin

Oh, Horrible Histories. See, I've always loved your books, ever since I was a kid, still do, and then you bring out a TV series? And that TV series turns out to be the best thing on television I have ever seen? Oh, you spoil me. And then, in the very first episode of the third series, your musical number is an Adam and the Ants take on the life of Dick Turpin, the famous highwayman? And when that musical number turns out to be so good? In the past few days, I have listened to it almost one hundred and fifty times. Seriously, this song is slowly but surely taking over Tumblr, and soon, the WORLD!

Horrible Histories - Literally: The Viking Song

As we all know, the Vikings liked pillaging monasteries, stealing gold, killing monks, that sort of thing. Another thing they liked was belting out soft rock classics, as shown in this Horrible ballad. Dare I say it... LITERALLY!!! *headbang* Also, a nice Queen homage in bits. I think I will do a Horrible Histories post soon! Yes!

Sleigh Bells - Rill Rill

For the first minute and a half of this video, I couldn't stop thinking 'Why the HELL is she driving on the wrong side of the car?!' But I suppose that's how they do it on the other side of the world. But anyway.
Compared to other songs on Treats, like Kids or Riot Rhythm, Rill Rill is a lot more paced, but doesn't really lose any energy that Treats had previous. I mean, it might make you feel more lethargic, but that's not the point. It's a good song!

And that marks the end of today's Between The Barlines! If I am very lucky, I might write a post about Horrible Histories before the exams end on June 17th. Might. Anyway, see you on the other side!

Eleanor Roscuro

Sunday 5 June 2011

Quote of The Week #58

The castle grounds were gleaming in the sunlight as though freshly painted; the cloudless sky smiled at itself in the smoothly sparkling lake; the satin green lawns rippled occasionally in a gentle breeze. June had arrived, but to the fifth-years this meant only one thing: their OWLs were upon them at last.

J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Friday 3 June 2011

More Stuff You've Always Wanted To Know!


Evening all.

I've gotten some new followers recently, I do believe. Hello everyone!

One thing I believe about blogging is that for the first few days or weeks of reading someone's blog, you don't really know them, and it can be hard to get excited when their posts pop up on your Dashboard. I am going to try and fix this now. I did this before, almost a year ago, so I will try not to repeat myself.
  • On my bedroom door hangs a Horrible Histories poster, inscribed 'DARE YOU ENTER THIS ROOM OF DOOM?' It's magnificent, but I can't find a picture of it online unfortunately.
  • This week, I have mostly been thinking about superheroes and evil villains, and how they can represent what people are most scared of at any particular time. Oh, and they're really cool too.
  • I'm re-reading Philip Ardagh's Book of Absolutely Useless Lists and thinking of some useless but interesting lists of my own, then thinking about how often I'm using lists here on Apostrophe and wondering if that means my attention span is lacking in something. I hope not, although it probably is lacking in something.
  • I still think that Treats by Sleigh Bells is one of the best albums ever.
  • I think Tyranny by Leslie Fairfield is one of the scariest books ever, and this is because even though Darren Shan is scary too, I know that there are no demons out there really that are coming for me when I am tucked up in bed, but Tyranny could get me easily. I hope not.
  • London Classic Theatre are touring Ghosts by Henrik Ibsen in the UK and Ireland and came to Kilkenny for one single night, Wednesday night. I do not exaggerate when I say it was amazing, but as I sat waiting in the audience during the interval, having already gone to the bar, I kept thinking 'Why am I the youngest person here by about fifteen years?' The exception to this was my almost twenty years old friend, but he was doing techy stuff and wasn't a member of the audience. I didn't regret going, but it did make me wonder 'On a Wednesday night, what is everyone else my age doing that's more fun?!' It also made me wonder why most of my friends are older than me, either doing the Leaving Cert, in college or even older, but I already knew the answer to that. I just like older people.
  • My hair is now an inch below my ear, the longest it's been in a year. It feels weird!
  • What am I doing now? Besides typing this, I'm looking at Friends pics on We Heart It. What are you doing?
Also, a lot of my friends have blogs now. It's fun. I'd tell you who they are, or even dedicate a whole post to them, but I don't know if they'd mind or not. Tell me, will ye?

Eleanor Roscuro

Sunday 29 May 2011

Quote of The Week #57

The Indie Handbook Volume Three would read:
'Show girls you fancy them
By getting with their boyfriends
Replace your party-loving mates
With awkward, greasy coy friends
Who like listening to Sonic Youth
You always must appear aloof
Remember no amount of faking
Will make you indie band ground-breaking'

Tom Milsom - Song For The Painfully Indie 

WTF - Tumblr Cliches

So I was drifting around on Tumblr and as you find things, I came across this GIF. GIFs don't usually make me uncomfortable, but this does.

The blonde on the left is supposed to be the type of girl who makes brunette over here on the right's life a misery, with her shallow obsession with beauty, fashion, make-up and whatever these girls are obsessed with, and who alienates brunette who is obsessed with such sensible things as Harry Potter, Pokemon, Converse, pizza and Tumblr.

Since most of my posts lately have consisted of lists, I will try to articulate my opinion of this GIF in a list.

Reasons Why I Think Brunette On The Right Is Just As Shallow As She Is Trying To Make Out That Blonde On The Left Is:

~ Brunette believes that just because she likes things that are much different to what Blonde likes, or to put it another way, inhabits a subculture a little different to her peers, that she is better than them. She'll never come out and say that she is better, but instead spout out cliched statements like 'I'd rather be sitting at home on a Friday night reading Harry Potter than get drunk and drop the paw' regularly. She believes that the qualities and characteristics she possesses are rare, rather than being just a less common cliche. She also gives the impression that she is under tremendous pressure (usually from school) to become a 'normal' girl - see Blonde on the left - but she doesn't realise that there aren't any normal girls, and Brunette's image is just as fake as Blonde's. Everyone's got stuff. Brunette shouldn't look down on Blonde, because perhaps if they sat down and talked for a little while they might find that they've got a lot in common.

~ Also, one of the things in the Brunette's thought bubble is Nutella. What? If Brunette just sits around and thinks about Nutella all day, then maybe she is as vapid as she believes Blonde is.

Oh, I didn't need a full list after all. That's good.

Now, to those who read and comment on Apostrophe, I know you are all articulate, intelligent, astonishingly attractive and very nice people.

Sorry, I've forgotten my point. Oh, I know! You're all nice! Just saying.

Eleanor Roscuro

Sunday 22 May 2011

Quote of The Week #56

A Uachtaráin agus a chairde (President and friends). Prince Philip and I are delighted to be here, and to experience at first hand Ireland's world-famous hospitality.

Together we have much to celebrate: the ties between our people, the shared values, and the economic, business and cultural links that make us so much more than just neighbours, that make us firm friends and equal partners.

Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as it was yesterday when you and I laid wreaths at the Garden of Remembrance.

Indeed, so much of this visit reminds us of the complexity of our history, its many layers and traditions, but also the importance of forbearance and conciliation. Of being able to bow to the past, but not be bound by it.

Queen Elizabeth II's speech at the State Dinner in Dublin Castle during her state visit to Ireland

Sunday 15 May 2011

Quote of The Week #55

It's not just a hair, it's a statement. - Gravity's trying to push us down, but it can't, because our hair is standing. It's always flying free.

Jedward at the Irish press conference, the Eurovision Song Contest 2011, Dusseldorf, Germany

WTF - Finding A Safety Net

A few days in school, we were doing Safety on the Internet. The class was shown a video on the topic by a British company called Athena Entertainment, if I remember correctly, titled 'Safety Net'. At the start they introduced a number of teenage and college age characters who all explained the different ways they used the internet. The last character to be introduced was a young man named 'Will'. He was bespectacled, but not in a God Wan way. He was dressed from the waist up in a beige jacket zipped almost up to the chin. The very first line he uttered was 'I have four computers at home - that makes me a bit of a geek I suppose.' And my mouth dropped open.

FOUR computers? Unattractive glasses? Unfashionable clothing? The name 'Will'? The term 'geek'?

'That makes me a bit of a geek I suppose' Will says! Will, a fictitious character, a caricature of nerddom and geekhood by Athena Entertainment.

How dare they! How very dare they lie to young impressionable teenagers and say that ALL geeks are male, ALL geeks a genius at computers, ALL geeks are visually impaired, ALL geeks don't dress fashionably? Through this unfortunate character and informative video, Athena Entertainment have further cemented hat stereotype and given us a bad name. I say 'us' because I too consider - Actually, I don't, because no one uses  the word 'geek' outside of America. Rookie mistake Athena Entertainment! Anyway, I say 'us' becauI se I too identify myself as a nerd, I suppose I'll call it that. But how can I? I'm a girl! I have good vision! I know how to dress! (Well, kind of. I mean... never mind.) I don't even know how to write code! Yet! Well, I'm so, so, SORRY that I'm not geek or nerd or whatever enough for the executives in pinstripe suits of Athena Entertainment!

Rant over.

Eleanor Roscuro

Sunday 8 May 2011

Quote of the Week #54

Jim: I love my life. Don't you love your life Dan?
Dan: Yes James, I am very fond of my teenage life. We are abundant in pocket money. Splendid.

Jim Vultour and Dan McGrain, Vultures: Attack of the Pinkertons

The Wisdom and Philosophies of a Modern Young Lady


Post-show blues are like when you're in a playground going on the slide. Actually sliding down the slide is amazing, but then all too soon your heels hit the ground and there's a general feeling of 'Is that it?' So you try to climb up again, but you're bigger and taller now (but not from eating vegetables) and you have to squeeze through some small spaces and climb up things that are not meant for you to climb. Then you're sitting at the top of the slide and you're looking down, and it seems awful long and you think it'll last forever, but you know from experience that it won't last that long, not even a few seconds. But you let go anyway.

Then later, when you're at home again, you suddenly think 'Why did I waste all that time on the slide when I could have gone on the swings? There was no one else on the swings. I could have spent ages on the swings.' But then you give yourself a little slap on the wrist (not too hard) and say 'Yeah, I could have gone on the swings. But why would I do that when I could go on the slide?'


One of the best things in life is opening a bar of Dairy Milk chocolate. As you peel off back the glued edge of the purple wrapper, and lift it off to reveal the golden bar. Rubbing the pad of your finger on each individual square, and the Cadbury's loopy signature appears gradually beneath your nails. Then you turn the bar over, and peel back the gold wrapper, which reminds you of Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket, slowly, very, very slowly, until the back of the bar is in front of you. You smell it, and when the scent reaches your brain it makes you want to just get the whole damn thing over with and eat the entire bar in one go, but you stop yourself. You have to do this properly. You are a modern young lady eating a bar of chocolate, not a baboon. So you break off two squares, and put one in your mouth very slowly. God, it's amazing, how it fills your mouth and melts so quickly. In fact, it's down your throat pretty soon, so you eat the second square. But that goes just as quickly, and you're starting to feel really thirsty as your chocolate flavoured saliva starts to harden on your tongue and at the back of your mouth. You keep eating the four remaining squares, but now the smell is gone and it doesn't taste... not that it doesn't taste good, or that it tastes bad, but it doesn't taste of anything.    The purple and gold wrapper promised something more, but it didn't deliver. Of course, you don't learn your lesson. Because you forget, so very easily when you're in the shop and the purple regal wrapper winks at you from the shelf.


All of a sudden, I've become really, really optimistic.

Last week Shifting ended, and of course I was devastated, and unwell (my post show poorliness actually started during the final show, just to get it over with), but somehow... At a rehearsal, myself and other cast and crew members were talking about how old we were when certain things happened affected them (eg. 'Being nineteen was shit') and it made me think about me now, being fifteen. And I have to say, for me anyway, being fifteen is brilliant. Only a month or so after my fifteenth birthday in the middle of last November, I'm technically part of the In The Future When All's Well residency, and since the residency lasts from January to the end of June, that's seven months of awesome, which is more than half the year. Then in the middle of June I do my Junior Cert which ends on the 17th of June, so that's two and a half months of summer, which will feature the Red Square Kibosh again and Kilkenny Arts Festival 2011, sun and plenty of blogging, then in September I start Transition Year (more on that later, sweets...) and at the end of October I go for work experience somewhere nice hopefully! And then I turn sixteen. So yeah. Being fifteen is class. Everyone should be fifteen. We could all be fifteen together, and it'd be great.


My Junior Cert exams are in fourteen school days, and yes, I'm feeling nervous. Not that I haven't been working, just normal nerves. I am so, so sorry I haven't been blogging as much these past few months. I wish I didn't have to say 'I've just been so, so busy...' again and again and again, but I have! Just a few more weeks, and then I'll be all yours again.


I'm making a film. I'll tell you more about it another time. (Not to put you in suspense - well, partly that - but when I have more to tell you, I'll tell you more.)

End of post!

Eleanor Roscuro

Saturday 30 April 2011

Quote of The Week #53

Don't go looking for boys in the dark
They will say pretty things then leave you with scars.
Do go looking for boys in the park
For that is where the true gentlemen are.

A Seamstress's Verses, 1898

Friday 29 April 2011

Cyber Love

I'm about to meet the girl I love for the first time.

I'd met her on the internet. Her name was Lauren, and she was a teacher. We had been emailing each other for a few months, until eventually, we decided to meet. I was wearing my red check shirt and jeans, just like I'd said. She, Lauren would be wearing the same. God, I'm nervous, I mean, I really think we have something. Something... good? Online, it seemed like it. A face catches my eye from a bench a few metres away. There's this girl staring at me. It's getting a little unnerving. She looks, what, sixteen? I'm looking away, but she's still staring at me when I peek at her again. She's walking over. She probably wants directions or something. Not from around here.

'Are you... Niall?'

She's mixed up. Yes, my name's Niall, but she obviously wants another Niall. Some idiot with zits who thinks he's God's gift to teenage girls. I keep ignoring her.

'Are you Niall from the internet? NiallEleventhDr?'

That was my username. That is my username online! But I'm sure there's plenty of Doctor Who fans called Niall. It's a complete coincidence. Her top is red. It has a checked pattern on it. It's probably a complete coincidence. Definitely. I decide I should say something. 'I'm sorry, who are you?'

'I'm Lauren! It's great to meet at last.'

She sticks her hand out, but I don't think I can offer my own. Lauren! She's Lauren! Lauren, the twenty-four year old teacher! Lauren, the girl I've been chatting to online for the past year! Lauren, the... teenager?! The red checked shirt! Just like mine! Oh my God!

God, I should probably say something.

'No. I'm sorry, you've obviously got me mixed up with someone else.'

'No, I'm pretty sure I haven't. You're Niall. I'm Lauren. We said we would meet here last Tuesday. I'm sorry I'm late, I got held up finishing some homework. You know how it is...' she says with a careless wave of her hand.

Homework! I'm twenty-four! I haven't done homework in six years!

'Look, there's obviously been a mistake. I'm waiting for a different Lauren - '

'Who's twenty-four years old, a teacher from Limerick, who you met on a Doctor Who forum? Everyone exaggerates on the internet, idiot. I thought you were my age as well.'

Everyone exaggerates on the internet? Well, of course I knew that. I just...

'Thought you were different, that's all.'

I said that out loud?!

'Different? Older, you mean. I thought you were someone else too, some guy from my school. Still, I can't complain. McDonalds?'

She thought that I was some... some kid? She just 'can't complain'? Seriously?

'Christ, how old are you? Sixteen?'

'Fourteen. I've got a voucher for a chicken nugget meal. You can have it though, if you want.'

Fourteen. I am on a date with a fourteen year old girl. How on earth did this happen? I can hear sirens behind me, police sirens, but that could just be my imagination. I think people are starting to stare. I'm spending too much time with a fourteen year old girl that I don't know than is good for me. Jesus, I could be arrested! Falling in love with a fourteen year old girl online! I could be put on the sex offenders register! What would my mother think?

'Have you seen the new episode? Personally, I don't think Amy is actually River Song. Still, I tend to get these things wrong. What do you think?'

I miss Lauren. But Lauren isn't coming. Lauren doesn't exist. A figment of some evil child's imagination.

'Look, just... never mind, alright?'

I walk away. Just before I turn the corner, I look back, and she's on her phone. Moments later, I get an email.

'Tlk 2 u l8r?'

I should say no. I should delete the text, and delete her from my life. But she's the closest thing I've got to Lauren. Besides, she'll be eighteen in a few years. And there's no laws against us being friends. Plus, she likes Doctor Who.


'Gr8! i <3 u xxxxx'

Lauren is worth it Lauren is worth it Lauren is worth it

There's a hand on my shoulder. I freeze, expecting it to belong to a guard, but it's a young, pretty woman.'Are you Niall?'

Nice red shirt. Red suits her. 

Sunday 24 April 2011

Quote of The Week #52

'How ridiculous is this?!'
'We say that every photo shoot!'

Colin O'Brien and Paddy Dunne, at the Devious Theatre poster shoot for Shifting, during which this poster was born.

Hey everyone! This makes an entire year of Quotes! Happy Easter!

Busting Easter Boredom

So. It's the Easter Holidays, you've already eaten all your Easter eggs and been to Mass, and you're bored out of your brains. Well, let me tell you something - PATHETIC! If you're bored, you're not trying hard enough. I could just keep on insulting you, but hey, I like you. I'm going to help you get out of your slump, and not waste these valuable weeks out of school. Yes, I know. You're welcome.

Make Food

More specifically, Fruits of the Forest Crumble. It's incredibly easy.

Ingredients - Porridge oats, butter, brown sugar, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries.
1: Melt butter. Mix with porridge oats and sugar.
2: Put chopped strawberries and not chopped raspberries and blueberries into two rammakin dishes. You know, the small ones. Good for sharing.
3: Put the porridge oats mixture on top. Bake for twenty, twenty-five minutes.

There you have it. Even I could do it! And I do!

Watch Something On The Internet That's Actually Good (Instead Of Rubbish)

Back in November, I wrote a terrible, terrible poem about an internet sitcom called Vultures. Five months on, the poem is still really bad, but Vultures is still as awesome (to me, anyway). It's about three private detectives who try to run a business in a small Irish town. Please watch it so you can tell me how much you like it and then we can just babble about how great it is together like HJKSDHFGKSFDHDKJHKJHF. It'll be fun.

Stop Staring At Art On The Internet And Make Some Of Your Own

Everyone is good at something. Everyone can be creative. Some people's talents may overlap different art forms, and some people may find it hard to find their niche, but it's there. Go find it. Create something. Then stand back and take it all in, that once, you were able to make this thing, and you did. You won't regret it.

Go On Holidays Where You Live

Wherever you live, in your city or town or village or rock, your family settled there for a reason. Turn into a tourist (annoying the locals is optional, although they may know you in real life) and visit all those beautiful places that you ignore on a daily basis because you think it's embarrassing or you've just never thought about doing it before. You'll see your habitual abode in a different light.

Write Letters

I could say to you that in this high-tech world full of technological hurdy-gurdies no one takes the time to write a simple letter before, but you've probably already heard that a thousand times. But seriously. Write a letter to a celebrity or someone else you admire, to your local representative in parliament to stick up for something, to an old friend or a relative you haven't seen in a while. Emails are good too, but nothing beats that moment when you hear a letter flop onto the mat and you pick it up and run your fingers over your name on the front...

So there you have it. Five absolutely brilliant ways of having a great Easter break. There's no need to thank me, but I will accept your thanks anyway. Be sure to report back to me when you do any of these and tell me how they went. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and write a letter to some friends. I'll see you soon.

Eleanor Roscuro

P.S. Did I write this just to kill time?


Sunday 17 April 2011

Quote of the Week #51

Lady Tottington: But Victor, didn't we agree, no more thoughtless killing?
Lord Victor Quartermaine: Quite right, my dear, so I thought this one out very carefully.
(Aims his gun at a rabbit)

Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Saturday 16 April 2011

This Week I...


  • Did my Home Economics practical for my Junior Cert. Made Fruits of the Forest Crumble and Chilli, Spinach and Carrot Soup.
  • Moved into the final week of Shifting rehearsals before Production Week.
  • Won a table quiz. Using my intellect. Got an Easter egg.
  • Got a cold, or flu, or something. Still have it. Hope not to have it by Sunday.
  • Was away from the internet for five days SHOCK HORROR DISASTER
  • Still haven't started my Script Frenzy. Fifteen days to go.
  • Was complimented on my Apostrophe by a cast member of Shifting, who has started her own awesome blog. Her name's Ruth, the blog's A Healthy Kind of Vanity. Minions, you know what to do. (Like, read it. And follow. You know?)
  • Was frustrated by the approach to History in the Junior Cycle in Ireland. The paper is flawed, the Chief Examiner has admitted that. It needs to be easy enough for students that find history more difficult and for the growing number of students in Irish secondary schools for whom English is not their first language, but hard enough so that only 8% of candidates will get an A. Teachers are encouraged to make lessons more 'fun' by getting their students to teach history to their classmates or playing games, but these won't help. They won't help in the exam. If your goal is to make only some students learn something, then cop the fuck on, because the Department is messing around with people's futures here. Including mine. (And I will be getting an A in Honours History.)
  • Was tired. Living on pure adrenaline, which is fun.
  • Got The Fear. Fear for Shifting, for my HE practical. The week before a show, I take The Fear out on my bottom lip, and it keeps bleeding now. I know you all wanted to know that. Lovely.
  • Tried to draw some sort of Apostrophe header but got sad when I remembered yet again that I can't draw.
  • Am HAPPY! And excited, and worried, and frustrated, but happy.
Eleanor Roscuro

Sunday 10 April 2011

Quote of The Week #50

Hm that’s a good point, let me think for a bit
Oh wait, my mistake, it’s absolute bullshit.
Science adjusts it’s beliefs based on what’s observed
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved.
If you show me
That, say, homeopathy works,
Then I will change my mind
I’ll spin on a fucking dime
I’ll be embarrassed as hell,
But I will run through the streets yelling
It’s a miracle! Take physics and bin it!
Water has memory!
And while it’s memory of a long lost drop of onion juice is Infinite
It somehow forgets all the poo it’s had in it!

You show me that it works and how it works
And when I’ve recovered from the shock
I will take a compass and carve Fancy That on the side of my cock.

Tim Minchin - Storm

Saturday 9 April 2011

Now Looky Here

This is the trailer for Shifting. It is scripted by John Kennedy, writer of the play and member of the cast, and directed and edited by Paddy Dunne. It stars the entire cast as they get up close and personal with each other. Check it out and please share it!

The song is from Morrissey, 'I Know Very Well How I Got My Name', here performed by Jessica Walsh and arranged by Geoff Warner Clayton, both members of the cast, and engineered by Ken McGuire, who is also producing the play.

Shifting opens on April 18th and runs until April 23rd in No. 76 John Street, Kilkenny. Tickets are €10, but on the first night, Monday April 18th, they're only a fiver. These fiver tickets can only be bought at the venue, and the rest of the tickets can be booked at or booked on 056 – 7794138.


Eleanor Roscuro

Monday 4 April 2011

Going, Going, Gone

So remember a while back I blogged about a play I was excited about, called Scratcher?

That's part of a season of three plays, called In The Future When All's Well. Did I mention that? No, I didn't. Well, the second one is called Shifting, by a young chap called John Kennedy. He is a nice person.

Shifting is a comedy about making the first move. The bittersweet story is centred around a birthday party in the suburbs of Kilkenny City where a group of childhood friends try to have one last hurrah together before going their seperate ways into adult life. But as the night progresses, this final flirtation with their teenage years degenerates into a booze soaked mess of accusations, confessions, cake and unwanted gatecrashers.

It's being directed by John Morton, who also directed, wrote, and starred in Scratcher, and is being assistant directed by me.

*cough* *shuffles feet*

So, yeah.

Sorry for my absence, but I really have been busy! I have a valid excuse! I'm assistant directing a play, this play, and it's brilliant! The whole experience! Everyone's so nice, and it is truly an honour to get to do this. Ha, Google Chrome just put a red squiggly line under honour. Stupid American spelling.

But anyway. You know, it'd be nice if people came.

Shifting opens on April 18th and runs until April 23rd in No. 76 John Street, Kilkenny. It's the first week of the Easter holidays, so if you're around, you probably won't have anything else to do. Apart from come. Tickets are €10, but on the first night, Monday April 18th, they're only a fiver. These fiver tickets can only be bought at the venue, and the rest of the tickets can be booked at or booked on 056 – 7794138.

I know it's unrealistic to ask a lot of you to come, like the people who live in a different time zone. But if you live near-ish, I'd love to see you there.

Oh, and I wrote a little blog for the Devious Theatre website. Here it is. There's pictures and everything.


Eleanor Roscuro

P.S. For those who don't know, shifting is an old slang word in Kilkenny for kissing. Get it?

Sunday 3 April 2011

Quote of The Week #49

One of the worst things in Ireland is that there are lots of divorces... but we don't have any wars here, which is good.. If I could change one thing, I'd like to stop people dying of diseases.

Response from a 12-year-old girl in a National Children's Strategy survey.

The Quest For Quotes

You know what's an awkward moment?

When you're in the Arts Office on a Sunday morning and you're just taking notes until a thought runs into your head SHIT I HAVEN'T DONE MY QUOTE OF THE WEEK and you don't know what to do because you don't have any quotes prepared and part of being a good blogger is consistency and you consider asking John or Ken or someone but then you think NO THEY'LL SAY ELEANOR YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR QUOTE OF THE WEEK PREPARED YOU'RE VERY UNPROFESSIONAL GET OUT OF THIS OFFICE and then you consider asking Alan or Ruth or someone but then you think NO THEY WON'T UNDERSTAND THEY'LL ASK WHAT DO YOU NEED A QUOTE OF THE WEEK FOR AND THEN I WON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY and then you get home and flick feverishly through your script but every line is either a spoiler or doesn't make sense on it's own and you check the newspaper but all the quotes in there are about the banks then you rifle through books, Tumblr, the internet, looking for just one good quote until you realise you really should have asked John or Ken for a good quote because that might not have been such a bad thing to do. Maybe.

Sorry for absence. There will be a post this week, but not now because it's 22:09 my time and I have to go to bed. I have news.

Sunday 27 March 2011

Quote of The Week #48

We declare the right of the people of Ireland to the ownership of Ireland, and to the unfettered control of Irish destinies, to be sovereign and indefeasible.  The long usurpation of that right by a foreign people and government has not extinguished the right, nor can it every be extinguished except by the destruction of the Irish people.  

The Proclamation of Poblacht na hEireann - Thomas J. Clarke, Sean Mac Diarmada, Thomas MacDonagh, P.H. Pearse, Eamonn Ceannt, James Connolly, Joseph Plunkett.

Monday 21 March 2011

Let's Talk About Our Feelings

Let's have a chat over a nice cup of tea. Well, you can have coffee if you want. I've never liked coffee, but I'll be having some of that rainbow sugar if you don't mind. With my tea. I take milk.

Hi there.

Sorry about my absence. I feel like we never chat anymore, you and me. We should do that now! OK, I'll start. This is my blog after all.

1. So a few days ago at rehearsals, we were having a short break and I was playing with one of the juggling balls and trying to keep it up with my hands and moving around and eventually I found myself standing in the middle of the room and facing the back door and outside John and Ross were talking and on my left Alan and Geoff were talking about playing the guitar and someone was rattling around with mugs in the kitchen and behind me Angela was doing something and on my left down the ramp Jess was playing the guitar and singing with Connie and I was just standing there and staring at the ball, tapping it with the palms of my hands and humming the song DFTBA by Hank Green in my head and under my breath, and while I was standing there I realised how utterly amazing my brain was to take all of that in and think about all of those people at the same time and what they were doing and why and reprimanding myself at the same time because it was really none of my business what they were doing, and also thinking about things I needed to get in Educational Supplies for school and then thinking about school on Monday and if I needed to do any homework and thinking about
what I was going to eat later and also thinking about the ball I was trying to keep up with my hands and how amazing my brain was for being able to think all of those things at the same time and trying to decide if my brain was simply a brilliant organ or if I was too scatterbrained and flighty to concentrate on one thing at a time. And then I dropped the ball.

2. WAIT A SECOND!!! I haven't told you anything about any rehearsals yet! Um... Can you wait, just for a few days? Before I tell you, I'd like to have something to tell you. Know what I mean? Oh, never mind.

3. This year, both Barack Obama and the Queen of England will be visiting Ireland, within fourteen hours of each other! That's nice of them. Apparently Obama's oldest living relative lives somewhere near where I live, so he might pop over. Princess Margaret, the Queen's sister, once visited the town where my mother grew up when she was a little girl, and I still have one of the dresses Lady de Vesci used to wear. It's gorgeous. Anyway, the visits will be great for the economy. That's good.

4. Bo Burnham will be coming to Kilkenny in June, as part of the Cat Laughs festival. I'm not really a big fan, but I'm glad people on YouTube and the Internet are being seen by IRL people as real entertainers, not just teenage crushes. Not that I'll be able to go, the Cat Laughs is strictly over eighteens. Still, it brings €8 million into Kilkenny!

5. I read an amazing book recently, called The Queen Must Die by K.A.S. Quinn. I think I'll write y'all a review! But not in this post. You might have noticed the new Reading List over at the left there. Thing is, I keep buying books, but I never have the time for reading them anymore. So I've decided to be very strict with  myself and I am not allowed to buy anymore books (sob) until all the books in this list have been read. Every single one of them. I've just finished To Miss With Love by Katharine Birbalsingh, which is a MUST if you go to, or have ever gone to, secondary school. No matter where you live. Go read it.


Oh, and thank you all for your kind, supreme patience.

Eleanor Roscuro...

Quote of The Week #47

'Right.' Mr Goodheart reclaims everyone's attention. 'I'd like to remind everyone on our push on independent learning. Remember that this is what Ofsted will be looking for, when they finally get here.' He smiles in a way that suggests he doesn't really believe what he is saying. 'We simply cannot have a situation where teachers are teaching and children are listening.' 

Katherine Birbalsingh - To Miss With Love

Running Out

"This was a moment I knew I would remember for the rest of my life."

Great. So what do I write now? I wish my fingers would stop shaking, I can't hold the pen properly.  I shouldn't be this afraid, not for the Junior Cert! Oh no. No no no no no no no no no

I can't do this.

I can't do this.

I can't.

Ok, let's just be reasonable here, right? What exam did you have yesterday? History, that's right, history. Your person in history was on a person in ancient Ireland, yeah? Write about that. Easy!

No. I can't, I don't know how... I hate exams. it's just so wrong, in my head, it hurts...

Oh quit being such a a baby "Oh, my head hurts, poor little me!" Pathetic. You're pathetic. Pathetic!

Pathetic. I am pathetic, aren't I?

I'm pathetic.

Yesterday, my parents sat down while I was in the middle of studying.  It was late. It was my mother who started.

'You are working, aren't you Rose?'

I must have been too nonchalant in my rely.

'Rose, you must try your best - '
'For all our sakes-'
'You want to go to Trinity, don't you pet?'

Both my parents studied at Trinity in Dublin. That was where they first met. They still gave regular donations, and I'd met most of the professors several times.

'So you can get a nice house-'
'And live in comfort-'
'Provide for us when we're old and sick-'

That was the clincher. Whenever they said anything about providing for them, when they were too old and feeble to work, that's what made me feel most guilty. They knew this all too well. We'd seen the reports on Prime Time about the old people who were abused in those nursing homes, and Mum and Dad never made me forget that.

'As your parents-'
'You surely owe us that much-'
'Some comfort in our final days-'
'I'm doing my best -'
'I'm sure you think that, honey-'
'But we need -'
'Surely it's not too much to ask?'
'Of... of course not.'
'Good girl. What did you have today? History, wasn't it?'
'Yeah. It was OK.'
'OK? Why?'
'It was fine! Fine fine fine. Easy peasy. Nothing to worry about.'
'That's good, pet. Tea?'
'Um, no thanks.'
Lately, I'd started making and buying all my own drinks. I could never be sure what would be added when I wasn't looking.

Half an hour left for this essay, and I haven't written anything yet. Brilliant.

What?! Stop dawdling and write something, you stupid girl! You've wasted enough time already with your silly sob stories! Come ON!

My head doesn't feel like a functioning object anymore. Just something I have to hold up. I slowly, slowly turn my head and stare at my hand. The biro has rubbed my finger red. I try and write something, anything, but my blue pen has run out of ink. Never mind. There's plenty of blue ink there, below my wrist. I can use that instead, can't I?

Oh dear. The blue ink has turned red. Such a mess on the page, tut tut. Strange, I feel even dizzier now. The supervisor seems to be staring. I should wave and be friendly. Oops, I waved with my ink hand. She'll see all the mess I'm making. I hope I won't get into trouble.

I really, really hope I won't get into trouble.

Wednesday 16 March 2011

Quote of The Week #46

My goal is not to wake up at 40 with the bitter realization that I've wasted my life in a job I hate, because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens.  


(Funnily enough, I had to decide my career three months ago...)

Sunday 6 March 2011

Quote of The Week #45

Pauline kept a scrapbook into which she pasted important articles that she had cut out of the newspapers. These were about the courageous deeds that had been done by people even if they only had one leg or couldn't see or had been dropped on their heads when they were babies.
'It's to make me brave,' she'd explained to Annika.

Eva Ibbotson - The Star of Kazan

Between The Barlines - The Beatles, Morrissey, Treefight for Sunlight, Gypsy & The Cat, Sleigh Bells

Hello, and welcome to Music at Musings... No, that isn't right, is it?

Hello, and welcome to...


I actually didn't come up with this myself, I hasten to add. xXLadyBugXx suggested it back at the end of December, thank you so much! I simply cannot believe that I have left you all without a Music at Musings Between The Barlines for three entire months, so this is going to be a good one! Shall we get started? Yep! Yahoo!

The Beatles - You've Got To Hide Your Love Away

So I was going to include Eleanor Rigby, but I want to keep this first Between The Barlines a fairly cheerful one, so that's for next time. What? This song isn't cheerful at all? But there's a flute! And a tambourine! Oh, never mind. It's still a brilliant song. Great lyrics too.

Morrissey - In The Future When All's Well

So, this song has been rattling around in my head in the past while. Rattling? That sounds unpleasant. Let me do that again.
So, this song has been floating around in my head in the past while, and I daresay it'll be there for a long time yet. (AAAAAAAAAH EXCITEMENT) In my opinion, In The Future When All's Well sounds very sad, as it doesn't feel that Morrissey thinks he's going to get his lovely future. But he's still hopeful enough to sing about it, which is nice. (Eleanor, you've outdone yourself. That is the most meaningful thing you've probably written in a Music at Musings Between the Barlines. Well done.) Oh, thank you! You're so nice.

Treefight for Sunlight - Facing the Sun

What a lovely video. First there's a lot of twenty-somethings running around, and fair play to them, they don't seem to get tired at all. Ah, they look so happy. Then they run into a forest and then there's a caravan and OH MY GOD THE CARAVAN IS FLYING AND THIS IS A FANTASTIC SONG AND WOW WOW WOW

Gypsy & The Cat - The Piper's Song

This song makes me feel very happy and relaxed, and is really great now we're in spring, and conjures up images of dancing in fields in long swishy dresses under a warm sun and a blue sky. While a piper pipes. Come on. Don't tell me you're foot's not tapping or your head's not bopping listening to this. I dare you.

Sleigh Bells - Riot Rhythm

This is the new single from Sleigh Bells' album Treats (brilliant, by the way) and I am awfully glad they decided to release it, as I think it is very good. And that is all I am going to say on the matter. I am going to leave you to form your own opinions on the matter, as I never let you do that, and here I am, doing it now. You're welcome.

Well, that's all we've got time for this week! Lock the doors, turn off the lights, and sleep tight. (Heh heh heh)

Eleanor Roscuro

Sunday 27 February 2011

Quote of The Week #44

Have you any idea how much tyrants fear the people they oppress? All of them realize that, one day, amongst their many victims, there is sure to be one who rises against them and strikes back!

Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Tuesday 22 February 2011

WTF - General Election 2012 And The End Of The World

I think I might be more terrified than any other time in my life. (Hello, good evening, how are you all doing?)

Apart from the time I saw a man almost drowning in Tramore. That was scary.

And when I read Tyranny by Leslie Fairfield. That's the scariest book I've ever read.

But this isn't a book. This is real life. This will be an extremely long post. Brace yourselves.

Remember back at the end of November, during Alternative Blogging Week, I told you about the EU and IMF's loan of €85 billion to Ireland? And how no one knew what was going to happen? WELL...

At the start of the recession, in 2008, the Taoiseach (Prime Minister, say 'Tee-Shock') Bertie Ahern:

Yeah, he decided to retire and so, the Tànaiste (successor), Brian Cowen:

He became Taoiseach. And of course, you already know from my fully comprehensive guide that the banks were poor, then the government under Mr. Cowen guaranteed the banks... After all of this, and more scandals, the hate for Mr. Cowen was so widespread and unanimous throughout the country that in an attempt to minimize his association with Fianna Fail, his party, he stepped down as party leader. Mr. Cowen is not Taoiseach anymore. In fact, for the past month, we haven't had a Taoiseach. We're having a General Election. Probably should have mentioned that. Sorry.

Polling day is 25th February, in three days and a bit (and before you start getting any ideas, I'm under eighteen, so I don't have a vote) and today, the first canvasser came to our house. (Honestly, it's not like I live in the back of beyond.) He belonged to the political party Fine Gael.

A quick note on Fine Gael - Fine Gael literally means 'Tribe of the Irish'. Was second-largest political party in Ireland, after Fianna Fail (Bertie Ahern and Brian Cowen) and is led by Enda Kenny:

Since the election started, he has been a contender. Really, he's grown quite popular with people, because they don't want to vote for Fianna Fail, since it was their (coalition) governments that led Ireland before and during the recession. Fine Gael say the government is full of corruption at the moment (true, unfortunately) and  that they're going to make everything better.

But, in my opinion, even if they try, they won't be able to give everyone jobs and make the country prosperous again.

Are you still here? If you are, thank you. Keep reading, I'm not done yet.

When Iceland and Greece went into bankruptcy, they quickly got rid of their corrupt governments and banks, but Fianna Fail still remained in power up until the end of January. There have been no serious protests of any kind. It's actually quite strange, because Irish history is, in a nutshell, seven hundred years of uprisings and rebellions against our English oppressors, in which many heroes have died in vain. Nobody seems to want to do that any more! People are angry about what's happened to them, their standards of living have definitely dropped, and our young people, our assets are emigrating in search of work in Australia or America, and they have so many problems that they've lost faith in our government, in these political parties. But nobody wants to protest or be martyred for the good of Ireland! What on earth has happened?

A few weeks ago, I went to see The Way Back. I saw the Russian gulags in Siberia, and the spread of communism (and yes, we have an Irish Communists Party) in the twentieth century, and as I walked out of the cinema, I was struck with the terrible thought of how lucky I am that, because of blind, blind chance, that doesn't happen in Ireland. And then I thought of Egypt, because that was in the newspapers, and I thought to myself, 'What am I doing to make sure that doesn't happen to Ireland?' And all I came up with was a big, fat NOTHING.

And I know you're thinking, 'Eleanor, why would you think that would happen in Ireland?' I'm getting to that. Hang on a second please.

It was only a blind chance that I was born white, female and Irish, in 1995. I believe it was only a blind chance that Ireland is not a dictatorship, and Egypt was. Yes, I'm aware that there are number of factors that have led to Ireland's democracy, and Egypt having a dictator, but you know what I mean. I said earlier that there have been no serious protests against Fianna Fail and the banks. Yet. It may take years, or six months, but something will crack. And some young, handsome graduate is going to protest about something, students fees maybe, and get himself hurt. And he will die. And that'll be the START.

Think Egypt, Libya. The fighting and rioting in Ireland will be on international news, as the death tolls rise. Maybe you'll see videos on Facebook or YouTube of protesters being shot in the middle of Grafton Street. Maybe I'll be in one of those videos. And then, eventually, America will step in, as it does, and bring in the big guns. And those guns will be really, really, really big. And this just won't be happening in Ireland, oh no. This will be happening all over the world. Total devastation. And then the superpowers, like America, will move in with their terribly big guns and they'll think they're trying to help. But they won't. And then, the people in those superpowers will start to get mad, and the superpowers and the terribly big guns will move out and try to sort out things at home, but it won't work. Third World War. And you'll have countries like Ireland and Libya destroyed, and the superpowers imploding, and the world will end. In, you've guessed it, 2012.

You may not believe me, and that's fine. You may like to telephone the HSE and recommend me for counselling. I would prefer if you didn't do that. But yes, I do believe this will happen. And it terrifies me. But imagine how terrified I'll be when I have to barricade my doors during a siege, wondering when I'll next get to eat. I'm not saying this is all certain. The only thing I know that's certain is that Ireland's next Taoiseach will be white and male.


And now, to ask myself the same question that I asked myself after seeing The Way Back:

What am I doing to make sure that Ireland survives all of this, to prevent the end of the world?


And it really, really depresses me.

But anyway.

You can just take all of this with a pinch of salt, if you want.

Eleanor Roscuro

Sunday 20 February 2011

Quote of The Week #43

By the end of the first scene of the King's Speech I was in ABSOLUTE BITS, something which continued throughout the film, and I think I've finally worked out why.

I have one helluva lot of sympathy for the trials and tribulations of King George VI.
I know that a stammer is a medically diagnosed condition and a much more obtrusive impediment than shyness but the barriers, the feeling always inadequate, the inability to speak because you know whatever comes out of your mind will be wrong wrong wrong.

That makes me sound self-pitying and horrendously whiny. But everyone has their thing, don't they? Even when you know it's stupid, there's something there holding you back and it is, genuinely, like someone has built a brick wall around you and there is literally no way of even moving a centimetre because...well because you can't can't can't.

Emma Crighton

Oh, and a small note... Quote of the Week will be back next time this week. Sorry for changing my mind...

Tuesday 15 February 2011

Apostrophe - Where Social Warfare Meets Social Media

So next week, I'll be going along to see a play in Kilkenny. It's called Scratcher, by The Devious Theatre Company. It looks like this:

Don't worry, they don't look that menacing in real life. Although...

But anyway.

According to Devious, 'Scratcher is a dark, satirical comedy set in a social welfare office on a gloomy Tuesday morning as 6 unemployed people slowly begin to transform into a revolutionary outfit bent on holding the country hostage. Signing on has never been so fun. This is social warfare.'  That sounds fun! It's written and directed by John Morton, and starring Alan Butler, Annette O'Shea, John Morton, Ross Costigan, David Thompson, Ken McGuire, and Amy Dunne.

It's being performed in Dublin as part of THEATREclub's theatre festival The Theatre Machine Turns You On: Volume 2 on Thursday 17th February, (yes, the day after tomorrow) at the Project Arts Centre, and in Kilkenny from 22-26 February at the Arts Office, No. 76 John Street. You should come. I'm going. It's going to be great.

Oh, and they've released a nice little promo video for their Scratcher performance in Dublin. It's basically a checklist of everything they're bringing with them. Y'know, guns and stuff. Lots of guns. And as we all know, guns = excitement and fun! And violence. But mostly fun. Chances are I could get arrested for this sort of talk... ah well.

So... you should come. Yep. Besides, it's on in the mid-term, and you'll probably have nothing else to do. No offence.

Oh, and just so you know... (Scratcher plugging ends here, so if you're not interested in anything else, then you might need to broaden your horizons a bit, and you might like to click here for Devious Theatre. It's a lovely website.) Anyway, just so you know, I feel that Apostrophe will, slowly but surely become a this-is-what-I'm-doing blog, a lot of which I have been reading recently, rather than a this-is-how-I-think-and-feel-about-things blog. Of course, it'll still be a blog where I feel and think about things, I can't not do that. I'll just be talking more about what I do be doing with my life. And this is my bridging sentence to my next paragraph.

Here we are. On the topic of posting... Usually, my aim is to post something in between every Quote of the Week, but, and I don't want to seem whiny, but it's a lot of pressure, and if I have nothing to post about, I start posting silly 'fillers', which are basically rubbish. You and Apostrophe (Yes, I'm referring to Apostrophe as an actual living being) deserve better. So on 20th February, I will be posting Quote of the Week #43, my last. I'll be posting more than one quote, so if anyone wants to say something good in the comments, go ahead.

Eleanor Roscuro

Sunday 13 February 2011

Quote of the Week #42

I want my bedroom to be two rooms, one that’s where the work space is, with all my books and CDs and instruments in, and the other that is pretty much exactly this photograph. I’m tired of having to sleep in a room that’s so full of activity all the time. I don’t want a computer in my bedroom any more. I want it to be silent and magical.

Tom Milsom

Sunday 6 February 2011


Yeah... I'm hungry.


You may not have realised this yet, but I don't spend all my time on the internet with you. This is what I've been doing with myself this past while. Don't worry, it's all terribly interesting.

1. Being Nostalgic And Kicking Myself: A few weeks ago, I re-read the Roald Dahl books, all of them. I used to read them all the time when I was younger - Matilda, The Witches, Fantastic Mr Fox... But as I was re-reading them recently, I started to notice... things. Things like all the alliteration Dahl used. All the time, with every single character in every single book, everyone is crying 'Great galumphing galizzers!' and it gets very repetitive. And the heroes and heroines, the children, THEY'RE ALL THE SAME. Seriously, there's nothing to distinguish them from each other, which is annoying. And I was reading and noticing these things, and other things too, but I didn't want to notice them. I am older now, and I ruined the Roald Dahl books for me, and it's all my fault. And after realising this I went off and sulked, like the baby I am.

2. Addiction #56: So Tom Milsom joined Tumblr. Yes, you read me correctly. Tom Milsom is now on Tumblr. Amazing, isn't it? Go and join him on his odyssey! (Yes. I did just make a terrible pun, or whatever that was. You're welcome.)

3. Becoming Trendy - Part #375: So a few days ago I came across a new post by Miss Vintage Vixen who I secretly but not very secretly adore, and it was a post about this band. This wonderful band. Sleigh Bells - Infinity Guitars. It's just...

You know? And the song is relatively simple, almost the same thing over and over again, but when that thing is so good, it doesn't really matter.

4. J'adore l'animation! This film probably won't be screening in my local omniplex, but it will stand the test of time better than whatever CGI 2011 is going to give us. It's called Le Vie un Chat. It's so pretty, and it's a shame that people here aren't buzzing about it. But still. Plus, I want to know more about the life of the cat.

5. Embracing the Force: So yesterday I was drinking some tea and I was shown this ad. There's not really much I can say that hasn't already been said (but still, that could be applied to almost everything, couldn't it? Why am I saying it?) Anyway, this is one of the best examples of child acting I've ever seen. Whatever he does again, his face should not be shown. It just makes it that much better.

Also - what's the Superbowl?

Eleanor Roscuro

Quote of The Week #41

You didn't ask permission. You didn't think about the consequences. You didn't care about the person I was with and their family, you didn't care about anything, you just cared about yourself and a grubby little cheque, and that's not right... have a bit of respect, or human decency.

Ryan Tubridy, displeased with the paparazzi who "hid behind bushes and trees" to take photos of his romantic stroll with girlfriend Aoibhinn Ní Shúilleabháin at Powerscourt Waterfall.

Sunday 30 January 2011

Quote of the Week #40 (FORTY?!)

The curtains opened to our biggest crowd yet, before the lights had even come up; myself (Rentboy), Ken McGuire (Tommy), Stephen Colfer (Spud) and John Morton (Sickboy) perched ourselves at the front of the stage in the dark, the opening music began and suddenly people began clapping and screaming, within seconds it had spread throughout the crowd, you could feel the energy in the theatre, we whispered to each other in shock on-stage, the lights came up and revealing the awesome set with four iconic characters bobbing their heads to ‘Blue Monday’, the crowd erupted. There you have it, the moment that myself and John Morton now call one of the greatest moments, ever! The even more amazing thing was, that this moment lasted nearly two hours, and when we finally took to the stage for the curtain call I was completely blown away as I watched audience members jumping to their feet. The ripple spread and we were standing on-stage staring out at a standing ovation. No words come to mind to describe this. It is a sight and feeling I will never forget yet never manage to put into words. Again followed by; hugs, stunned smiles, countless hand-shakes, pats on the back, praise (and rumour has it that we went to Morrissons but it was full of scum so we went to Anna Condas instead.)

Ross Costigan