Quote of the Week #73

Anatomy is destiny.

Sigmund Freud

Apostrophe Mix - February 2012

Apostrophe Mix - February 2012 from EleanorRoscuro on 8tracks.

• Charlie McDonnell - Chemical Love 
• Regina Spektor - Us 
• Ralfe Band - Eloisa
• Tom Dunphy & The Royal Showband - If I Didn't Have A Dime
• The Beatles - Can't Buy Me Love
• The Zutons - Remember Me
• Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love (Live)
• Charlie McDonnell - A Song About Love

This is the playlist of someone who isn't in love, and who's never properly been in love. Who is a little cautious of it, but not as wary as she was in the past, and, truthfully, a little excited at the prospect. Who hasn't received a Valentine's card since she was nine, getting four that year, all of them wasted on her. Who now knows that there's absolutely no rush, and even though she knew of this earlier, she understands it better now. Who loves herself the most, for how can you love others if you don't love yourself? Who is trying to remember if she should be writing 'who' or 'whom' at the start of these sentences.

Also, Charlie McDonnell. Awesome.

Eleanor Roscuro

Quote of the Week #72

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.

Salvador Dali

Discretion Is The Better Part of Valour

Picture found on http://weheartit.com/entry/21164566

Last night, I was leaving a rehearsal chatting to a friend of mine. There was a lull in the conversation when suddenly she turned to me and said 'Oh my God Eleanor, I love your blog!'

A year ago, this would have frightened me to death. It did, I wrote a post about it and everything. The frightening part was that people I knew in real life would be able to know things about me that I obviously hadn't told them, sad things, angry things. I kept thinking 'THEY ARE GOING TO KNOW EVERYTHING.' Now, I realise everything isn't actually everything, but it seemed like a lot, and it was. That was only four people, my own age, but I kept thinking 'What if they tell everyone? What if everyone reads my Musings? What if they laugh at me, what if they hate it, they'll know THINGS!'

My IT teacher just looked over my shoulder as I'm writing this post. Now she knows stuff. She didn't say anything though. She's looking at her computer now. Oh my God what if she's reading my blog right now?! Wait... ah no, it's blocked by the school's servers as a personal website. That's alright then.

I suppose my biggest problem was the lack of secrecy. I am quite a discreet person. I've gotten better since then, but mystery makes a person more interesting, right? Anyway. as my writing has matured, as I have matured, I've learned not to freak out over things as much (even though I still do), I don't whine or rant on Apostrophe, not about personal things, and I've learned to distinguish between being a real person behind this blog that people might be able to relate to and being too real, embarassingly personal. This isn't a reality programme.

Whenever someone brings up Apostrophe in public, whether it's someone I know to read it or a surprise, my heart always stops for a few seconds. Last night, it was a surprise, but I'm better at people knowing about the blog now, so my heart only stopped for one second. Old habits die hard...

It was during the last year that I got more comfortable with people knowing about Apostrophe, adults even. None of my family read it (I hope) but now it's a lot, lot more than four people. Now that my classmates are jumping on the Twitter bandwagon (please, I've been here since Second Year, people) they're starting to follow me. And if you follow me on Twitter, you'll know that I link to the blog whenever I post something new, and the link is on my profile, so maybe it'll become a lot more public, and I hope I'm ready. I should be.

But back to last night -

'Oh my God Eleanor, I love your blog!'
*heart stutters* '...What? Really?'
'Yeah, it's so hilarious! I was talking to Bronagh last night and she told me about it so I looked it up, and it's so good!'
'Wow, thanks!'
'Yeah, it's brilliant Eleanor. Anyway, see you!'

And I walked on with a grin on my face, safe in the knowledge that I had already deleted the more embarrassing posts some months before.

Eleanor Roscuro

Quote of the Week #71

If you're lucky enough to be Irish, then you're lucky enough.


Unknown, but they're probably Irish and awesome.

Dear L.N.R...

A few days after this blog was created. A post about this event here - http://apostrophe-rules.blogspot.com/2010/01/ive-been-very-sad-recently.html 

At Musings' first birthday, November 2010. Forgot to get any cake.

In which I get the knack of smiling in photos. March 2011.

Insert photo of present self here.

Dear L.N.R...

This is the moniker you like to go by, isn't it? L.N.R. - Eleanor! If I've done this right, you should be reading this just as you're starting your blog, Musings of an Undiscovered Genius in November 2009. It's your birthday soon, isn't it? You're going to be fourteen. Wow.

You're probably wondering who I am, right? I'm Eleanor Roscuro. Sixteen. February 2012. I know, that seems so far away, but it came, and we're here. And I'll be eighteen next year and everything! I know! Amazing! But anyway. 

Listen. Between where you are and where I am now, things are going to change. Huge changes for us, and for the country. I can't say too much, but here's just some tips.

• Twitter's fun, isn't it? You know that American girl who's followed you for some reason, The Vintage Vixen? She has a blog too. Read it.
• When was the last time you re-read Harry Potter? When you're done, go onto that website Tumblr and search it. Also: Have a little think about Slytherins. Just because there was a really bad batch of them during Harry's years doesn't mean they're all... evil.
• Start going to more plays. Even if it looks really serious and boring. That usually means it will grip on your heart in a way you never imagined, and there's nearly always some funny bits. 
• There's this young theatre company in Kilkenny, Devious or something. When mum asks you if you want to see the play with the poster in green, pink and orange, go. For fun. Also: Just because they're so big and older than you and everything doesn't mean they're scary. Only at first.
• There's absolutely no need to be some kind of martyr. I know you want to seem professional and everything, but not being a martyr will make you more professional. Funny how that works.
• If you are unsure about telling mam (or dad) something, it is probably best not to tell them. Imagine it was your daughter.
• No one's out to get you, not anymore. If you are extremely patient, they will flock to you, but for now, be the kind of person that has loads of friends already.
• They're not bitches, they're dizzies. It's nicer.
• Keep writing. On Musings, in your diary, poems and stories, everything. Keep it all for when you're my age and even older.
• You may have heard of a man named Michael D. Higgins. He's a TD, a really arty one. He's got a few books out too, read them. Remember him.
• When people laugh at you for boycotting Penneys, don't mind them. Research sweatshops and child labour more.
• Don't seek out romantic entanglements. Let all that stuff come to you.
• I know you're secretly in love with that other youth theatre, but they don't mean to upstage you. You'll  get to know them in the end, and you won't even have to leave KYT to do it.
• I know you love Paramore, but don't let them be your favourite band. Explore. There's a whole world out there (on the internet) you still have to discover.
• There's nothing wrong with how you look. Keep experimenting with your hair colour and cut, and you're going to lose that weight. How, I have no idea, but it happens.
• You're going to love blogging. You're going to love theatre, not just acting. You're going to love Kilkenny even more than you do already. You are worthy of all the good things that have happened and are going to happen to you. 
• Be your own best friend. I know it sounds silly, but you have to enjoy yourself. I'll say it again, it's that important: BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. That's the secret.

I know I'm only sixteen, and I still have loads left to learn, but I feel much happier than I have since primary school. Things are going to be brillliant. 

The most love in the world,

Eleanor Roscuro