I had to write a short story for English featuring the words 'I wish I had listened'. I wrote this and I got an A! So, in a post of smugness, this is Good English... And most of Mrs Magorian's lines belong to my English teacher, who found it hilarious.
The pupils of Mrs Magorian's small class immediately fell silent when she swept into the classroom, closing the door behind her.
'Good morning! Today we'll be writing short stories. Please take down what I write on the board,' Mrs Magorian announced.
Stephanie opened her copy at a fresh page and took down the date. Her pen was out of ink, so she searched her pencil case for a fresh pen. She found a brand new pen and took down the heading. The heading was 'Short Stories'.
'In your story,' Mrs Magorian said, 'you do not deal with a long series of actions. You deal with a moment. Underline that, please.'
Stephanie wrote what her teacher had said into her copy, and underlined it twice.
'Miss, how many characters should your story have?' Stephanie's friend Tom asked.
'For a short story, like the ones you're going to write later - '
'Ah no! Please miss! We've got loads of tests tomorrow!' The class started to implore her. A minute or two later, Mrs Magorian finished her sentence.
'Tom for a short story like you ARE getting for homework tonight, two characters will probably be the most you can manage.'
With a pop, the class vanished. Stephanie and her teacher were left in the classroom on their own, looking very confused.
'You might be able to fit three characters in, if you really want to,' Mrs Magorian added. Tom suddenly reappeared next to Stephanie looking slightly bemused. Stephanie said nothing, and took down what Mrs Magorian had written on the blackboard. She underlined it twice. Stephanie was very organised and meticulous.
'Magnify important details!' Mrs Magorian called from the board. 'If you decide your character is stubborn, don't tel the reader. Show it in the character's behaviour, actions and speech.'
Stephanie and Tom took the advice down into their copies. Suddenly, Stephanie decided that she wanted to kill Mrs Magorian.
'I'M GONNA KILL YOU!' Stephanie screamed. She jumped out of her chair and started running towards her teacher. Mrs Magorian wasn't fazed and dragged the girl back to her desk, where Tom pushed her down into her seat. Stephanie was immediately silent. Her teacher walked calmly back to the board.
'Don't change a character's personality just to make the story more exciting.' When Stephanie and Tom had written it down, she gave them their homework.
'I wish I had listened to the second sentence, I can't remember it!' Tom moaned quietly.
'Lastly, the most important thing a story needs is a beginning, a middle and an end!'
Stephanie took down the sentence and underlined it.